


Damaged goods

by Strawberrysmilees



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1940s, Flashbacks and Memories, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Minor Character Death, Psychological Trauma, SasuNaru - Freeform, Sasuke - Freeform, Slice of Life, both sets of parents die, homophobias concequences, im so sorry, naruto - Freeform, slight angst, some iruka if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 10:19:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7973302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberrysmilees/pseuds/Strawberrysmilees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto was damaged goods. There were gaps in his memory, places he couldn’t access, things that hurt him to think about. </p><p>sasunaru - if you dont like, this is not that plaece for you my friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys, im back after a little break there. hope you enjoy this, i worked really hard on it.

* * *

Naruto was damaged goods. There were gaps in his memory, places he couldn’t access, things that hurt him to think about.

 _Raven hair, crimson eyes, milky skin_ … _pain._

He sat on the edge of a hospital bed, after finally being released for discharge. 2 years was a long time, but after finally being deemed okay, they were finally letting him out.

Iruka would be here in 15 minutes.

* * *

 


	2. fractal

* * *

_(1943 - 12 years)_

  _Blue skies was all Naruto could see, stretching from ends of his peripheral vision. A few fluffy white clouds drifted into his sight, and he sighed, the breeze brushing over his face as he settled further into the long grass on the hill._  

_"Naruto, look! That cloud looks like you!"  another voice was giggling, and a pale hand shot into his vision, pointing to one of them._

_Naruto felt himself giggle as well, his hand shooting upwards as well to point at a different cloud._

_"it totally does! But hey, That one looks like you!" the other voice giggled, and as their laughter died away, he found his hand and the pale one had found each other, still shot up In the air, but their fingers had laced together lazily as another breeze washed over them._

_It was summer then._  

* * *

He was sitting in the car, clouds passing by the window like a movie. Iruka was talking animatedly beside him, but as excited as he was to be out, he was also worried.

"-and I painted one of the walls in your room orange! I think you're going to love it, Naruto. Naruto? What's wrong?" Iruka's voice had finally broken through his reverie. He made quick, almost nervous glances at the blond haired boy as he drove, trying to convey his worry whilst directing their journey.

"the doctor says that the gaps in your memories are pretty severe, but over time you'll gradually remember some things. But don’t ever hesitate to ask me, okay?" his voice still held hesitation, but an overweighing sense of joy drowned it out. Naruto nodded and flashed him a smile, he himself was surprised to find that it reached his eyes.

He realised that he  didn’t remember smiling genuinely since he had gone to the hospital.

Why had he gone to the hospital again?

* * *

 


	3. fragment

* * *

_(1945 - 14 years)_

_The streets were full of orange, yellow, brown and red, as the trees had begun to shake off their leaves. The air was slightly chilly as they left school together, standing close enough that his shoulder was brushing against Naruto's, and that he could smell the musk in his hair._

_"jeez, why did old man Sarutobi always have to give us so much homework?" Naruto whined, linking his hands behind his head in a lazy manner._

_He could hear the other boy roll his eyes, nudging him in the ribs playfully._  

_"just because  you always need me to help you with the homework." he drawled lazily, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "anyone coming over today? Or do you maybe wanna make a start on it?"_

_Naruto shrugged. "Iruka might be coming over later for dinner, but I'm sure he wouldn’t mind if you were there. Besides, what would he be eating if you didn’t come over to cook anyway?"  he grinned, linking his arm through the other boys and dragging him along slightly. The other boy tried to maintain an irritated expression but softened when he was drawn into Naruto's sunny grin._

_He vaguely registered disapproving looks and disgusted scoffs as they strolled down the street, but Naruto truly couldn’t bring himself to care._

_"you're lucky that I love you, idiot."_  

_Naruto felt his heart pound and his face heat up, but the grin never left it._

_"yeah, I guess I am."_

_Leaves floated gently down on the breezes._

_It was autumn then._

* * *

It had been a few weeks, and Naruto was settling in. sort of.

 He was going to school, with the same people that he used to apparently, although only some of the faces were familiar. He walked down the halls, making small jokes, laughing and smiling with them, and he was glad that the last 2 years of his absence hadn't put any of this old friends off hanging out with him. He even vaguely remembered some of  them visiting him in the hospital, bringing flowers and small stories that he couldn’t process at the time.

 Living with Iruka had been great, although sometimes things happened that he didn’t understand.

"Iruka, why was I in the hospital? I can't remember why anymore.  What sickness did I have?"

"Naruto, I…. I'm so sorry…" The elder boy looked at him with so much regret and taking Naruto into his arms he whispered apologies and the like, and although Naruto didn’t understand why he was saying sorry, he enjoyed the closeness.

I didn’t escape him that his caretaker hadn't answered his question, but he couldn't bring himself to press further.

He was just enjoying living his life one day at a time, without the haze of drugs and something else taking the sharpness away from the world and making his present and his memories all hazy.

But Naruto had a secret.

He was sometimes overcome with a feeling that something was missing.

 It hit him like a wave, when he was at school or walking on his way home, when he was sitting in his room and when Iruka took him to the valley where he had apparently spent a lot of time as a kid playing.

 But it was okay, because Naruto knew.

Whatever was missing would return in time.

He hoped.

* * *

 


	4. segment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is slowly going to get longer, sorry!

* * *

_(1946 - 15 years)_

  _The sun has set early, and  the mood was shining through the clouds and the wide windows of the classroom._  

_Naruto had been bent over  his notebook and various textbooks for hours, furiously copying down notes while bopping to the  music that flooded through his headphones._

_Class has finished hours ago and all the clubs had gone home, but Naruto has stayed behind, partially because he was waiting for… him.. To finish, and partially because he had a final exam the next day and if he failed, he would have to repeat the whole of sophomore year. His pen moved to the beat of the song, as he finished the last of his notes with a flourish._

  _Sighing loudly to himself and meeting his hands behind his head to stretch, Naruto let a yawn rip through him. He hadn't realised how long he had been sitting hunched over until he felt the ache in the bottom of his back, and he knew that he was going to be feeling that for a while._

_"how long does that  bastard take at that stupid student council meeting?" he grumbled out loud, stomach agreeing with him. "why I oughta…" he stretched from side to side, trying to take the ache out of his back, when he noticed someone on the table next to him._

_A warm feeling flooded Naruto's chest as he observed the sleeping figure folded up on his desk, using his backpack as a pillow as his dozed. His angular features all seemed so uncharacteristically peaceful, and Naruto couldn’t help but  caresses his perfect cheek._  

_The sleeping boy moaned softly, leaning up into Naruto hand, lips curling into a smile._

_"you finished?" he asked tiredly, rebellious eyes still struggling to open._

_Naruto chuckled softly. "yeah, just finishing off a couple of notes for tomorrow. How long have you been there? Why didn’t you nudge me?"_

_A pale, milky arm rose to reveal a black wristwatch, and a smooth forehead creased._

_"about two hours now. I tried to talk to you when I got back for my meeting, but you seemed so focused that I didn’t have the heart to disturb you. I was kind of exhausted anyway, so I just took a nap instead." Naruto smoothed out the crease in the forehead, smiling apologetically._

_"sorry that you had to wait so long for me, (…)." he whispered, leaning down and capturing the other boys plump pink lips in a tender kiss. Long, nimble fingers buried themselves into his blond tresses, and as they begun to deepen the kiss, they heard a sharp gasp from the door._  

 _"boys! What are you doing?!" they broke apart and Naruto whipped around to see one of their teachers, horrified, eyes burning with rage and disgust. She rushed into the classroom, ripping the boys away from each other and 'accidentally' throwing Naruto against his desk, its legs squeaking loudly against the flor in protest. Her long, sharp fingernails had somehow managed to carve 3 lines into his face, and he cradled his cheek, eyes stinging with tears._  

_"you get off him right now, Naruto Namikaze! You two are in big trouble now!"_

  _Outside, the first snow flakes begun to brush past the window, the icy grip on that sleepy night tight like a vice._

_It was winter then._

* * *

 

Naruto had awoken that morning feeling sick. His chest was heavy and his heart felt as though it was being squeezed inside someone's fist. He wanted to stay in bed all day, curled up in the security of his pillow, but Iruka had mentioned that they were going somewhere that day, so he got up and got dressed.

For some reason his usually orange and black ensemble didn’t appeal to him, opting instead for black jeans and a black button-up shirt, with a sweater and blazer-coat. Iruka's eyes widened from the kitchen table.

"hey, we match today. All black." Naruto smiled tiredly, still in too much inexplicable pain to make a genuine joke about the situation. Iruka smiled tiredly back, humming in agreement.  Neither boy was hungry or in the mood for chatter, apparently, as they silently slid inIruka'skas small car.

"look Naruto…" Iruka broke their slightly tense but still comfortable silence after about an hour of driving. It was a Sunday morning, so the roads were quite empty save the odd car heading in the opposite direction.

"I tried my best to save you from them. Please know that. I never believed that there was anything wrong with you, and I tried to protect you and him for as long as I could. Im sorry that I couldn’t protect you." Naruto  could hear the  tears in his voice, but he couldn’t even muster the effort to comfort him other than putting his hand on Iruka's shoulder.

"hopefully seeing them might jog your memory.. Even though the doctors told me that I shouldn’t be trying to get your memories back, I think you'll understand when you know why." the blond-haired boy had no idea what his best friend and guardian was talking about, but he nodded regardless, content in the moment to sit and try and understand the ache in his chest.

They drove for another strangely tense hour, feeling like they had left the suburb limits a lifetime ago. Naruto had taken to observing the clouds as they rolled by his window and assigning them shapes.

A rabbit, a hat, a strangely shaped car… his fingers were clasped together tightly on his lap by the time Iruka had begun to slow down,  and with the final turn he took, Naruto started to understand.

"the cemetery?"

* * *

 


	5. interlude

 

* * *

_(1938 - 7 years)_

_"mom, I have a question." Naruto sat at the breakfast bar, absentmindedly picking at peanuts in a bowl._

_"of course, sweetheart, anything." a beautiful woman with long, flowing red hair stood, bent in front of the stove, tossing some meat-vegetables-sauce concoction that smelt delicious._

_"how do you know when you are in love?" she didn’t turn at her sons question, but the way she cocked her head told him that she was listening._

_"well, honey, its different for everyone.. But for me, your father was my best friend. Overtime, I realised that I always wanted to be around him, because when we were together it was so much fun. I realised that I was always thinking about him, and that he made my heart flutter, and eventually I realised that  I would do anything for him, and that I cared more about him than anyone else, until you came along." he could hear the affectionate smile on her face._

_"after you came along, I realised that I would be willing to give up anything to see the two of you smile, and everyday since I have been happier than I have ever been. "  she was still stirring her_

_The heavy lock on the front door slid open with an audible 'click' and_ _Naruto father announced his arrival, strolling into the kitchen and ruffling his sons identical blond hair before wrapping an arm around his wife's waist._

_"what are we talking about in here?" he asked, eyes dulled slightly with exhaustion but still swimming curiously._

_"how did you know you were I love with mom, dad?" his  eyes softened as he bent to lean against his wife's shoulder, kissing the exposed skin from her sundress._

_"well that’s simple, son. To me, she shines like starlight, even in the middle of the day." he chuckled affectionately as she swatted at him playfully, stretching to his full height to kiss her cheek._

_"so.. That means.. I'm in love with (…)." a clattering sound rang through the kitchen as his mother dropped her wooden spoon and his father his briefcase  simultaneously, his mother ripping herself from his father in order to whip around and look him in the eyes.  They gaped openly at their son, who gawked curiously back, confused from their reactions._

_"what did you say, Naruto? Are you sure?" two sets of burning cerulean eyes affixed themselves onto his face, but he grinned back at them, unperturbed._

_"yeah! I've been thinking about it for a while, actually, but I wanted to ask you guys to be sure.(…)  is my best friend, but I like him better than Gaara and Kiba, and I always want to play with him and even sometimes do my homework with him, and I think he's even prettier than Sakura. He shines, dad, like starlight even in the day, just like you said." Kushina wiped the shocked expression on her face and wordlessly circumnavigated the breakfast bar to gather her son up into her arms, who was more than happy to be hugged by his mom._

_"what's wrong, mom?"  her shoulders begun to shake as she held him, and as he pulled away he could see her damp cheeks and slightly swollen eyes._

_"mom? Why are you crying?"  his mother bent down so that their faces were level, her identical cerulean eyes boring into Naruto's._

_"now you listen here, Naruto Namikaze. Whoever you choose to love is yours to choose, and just know that your father and me will love you, regardless. But there is some people in this world that think that some kinds of love are wrong, and sometimes they are willing to hurt other people who feel those kinds of love. So no matter what, I need you to be strong, because the world is not kind to those who are different."  and with that, she broke into an almost blindingly bright smile._

_"and now your father owes me $10."  she straightened, turning to her still gaping husband. "I told you, Minato. Cough it up!"_  

_This broke the tall blond mans reverie, and he reached into his back pocket, grumbling._

_"Couldn’t have waited 3 years to be in the double digits like I thought… " as he fished a crisp $10 not from his wallet and handed it to his wife as he, too, walked around the breakfast bar to his son._

_"your mother is right, Naru, no matter who you love, we will be here, and we love you always. And besides, we kind of figured about (…)." he grinned as Naruto's face turned bright red._  

_"was it that obvious?!" he cried, his parents laughter filing the room._

_The suns last rays pierced through the windows, bathing the kitchen in warm, golden light._

* * *

 

Iruka parked the car, already in tears and sobbing as quietly as he could manage.

"Naruto, I…" he couldn’t barely speak around his tears.

Naruto leaned as far as he could over the console and drew his best friend into the tightest hug that he could manage. His cheeks were wet as well.

"its okay, Iruka. No matter what, I know you did as much as you could, and I just wanna say, thank you. But this is something I need to do by myself." despite himself, he smiled with tears dribbling down his cheeks.

"for some reason, I remember where they are." Iruka smiled bitterly and  nodded, wordlessly handed him a light blue handkerchief.

"call for me if you need me, okay?" Naruto nodded back and squeezed his hand, before getting out of the car and venturing out into the cemetery.

* * *

 


	6. floodgates

* * *

_( 1941 - 10 years)_

_Naruto exhaled, marveling at the way it still condensed in front of his eyes. The carpet of his room felt familiar and comforting under his fingers as he snuggled underneath  his doona._

_His house was quiet, save for the soft breathing of the boy sleeping peacefully next to him. It was 4 am and the sky was dyed a cerulean just like his eyes._

_"what are you doing, weirdo?" his companions breathing hadn't changed, but his whispered question  alerted Naruto of his wakeful state._

_"it's still so cold, my breath is condensing! but my room is the warmest in the house… besides… theirs…"  eyes that he thought were dry became damp again, as one more tear carved a path down his cheek and onto the pillow._

_"come here." his companion hadn't opened his eyes as he welcomed the blond into his arms, holding the boy delicately as the moonlight illuminated the room. His shoulders racked with sobs as he snuggled into the raven's chest._

_"I can't believe that they are gone, (…ke)." his voice was muffled by his companions chest._

  _"me too." the pale boy whispered, his voice gruff from his own tears as he held his blond tighter ._

_"don’t ever leave me, okay?" his plea was small, but not missed, as the raven pressed a loving kiss to his mussed hair._

  _"I'm not going anywhere, Naruto. I'll always be here."_

_A cool breeze disturbed a nearby blossom tree, the petals floating gracefully by the window in the crisp morning air._

_It was spring then._

* * *

 

 The strangest feeling he'd ever had, Naruto decided, was walking a path that he couldn’t remember, but was more like.. Instinct. As if he was being pulled with strong, steel cables, unable to do anything but trudge through the grave, weaving through the gravestones with a kind of practiced ease.

The graveyard slowly inclined into a hill, and as he climbed, he paused.Waves of familiarity hit him in this unfamiliar setting, and he knew he was close.  His breath slowly became short as he climbed, and he

Waves of familiarity hit him in this unfamiliar setting, and he knew he was close.  His breath slowly became short as he climbed, and he begun to focus on his feet, to draw his mind away from the strain. His heart was beating faster and faster, from anticipation or the excessive he didn’t know, but as he reached the top of the hill, he could see the sun's gentle rays reflecting off a pair of white marble headstones.

Naruto let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding.

The blond boy quietened his approach, and respectfully bowed in greeting to his parents.

"hey, mom and dad. I'm sorry its been so long since I visited you, I didn’t even remember that you were gone up until this morning to be completely honest. " he whispered, and tracing the names of his parents, as if it would consolidate all the memories that he had of them in his mind.

"thank Iruka for that. I hope that you are both okay, where you are. I miss you both so so much." once again tears threated to spill from his eyes, but he fought them back, swallowing the lump in his throat. 

 "I'm sorry I didn’t bring any flowers, but don’t worry, I will next time." he sighed once more. "things have been okay, its been a little confusing only having half of my memories and having to relearn things that feel familiar but at the same time not, but I don’t mind. I'm just happy to be out in the world again."

He straightened and took a step back. "but there's something I want to ask you, mom, dad, something that I haven't been able to ask anyone else. " he took a deep breath in. 

 "why do I have a hole in my memories  that’s person shaped? Some things are gone completely, like you were until this morning, but some things are just incomplete." he ran his hands through his hair in frustration, the words welling up in his chest as he struggled to explain.

"I keep remembering these things,  and even though I can see someone was with me, and they feel so warm, like I've never felt so safe, so _loved_ , but I don’t know who they are. Who is that, mom and dad? Who is he?"

He was so wrapped up in his tirade that he didn’t notice another person weaving through the gravestones with the same practiced ease that he had earlier.

"why do I feel like someone so important is missing?"

The sounds to crinkling grass under someone's feet sent Naruto whipping around,  finally noticing the presence of another persons approach.

His breath hitched.

_It was the same raven hair that he had breathed  in the autumn breeze walking home from school._

_the same slender but chiselled figure that he had curled against and entangled with under the doona on the floor of his room on sleepless spring dawns._

_the same spindly yet frim fingers he had entwined with in valley as the summers sun beat on them._

_The same elegant lips that has smashed against his as the snowflakes fell outside the windows forming a perfect "o" from shock._

The crimson eyes that he saw behind his own cerulean ones every time they closed.

"Sasuke." he breathed.

And in that moment, he remembered everything.

* * *

 

 


	7. Chipped

* * *

"Sasuke."the other boy dropped a bouquet he had so meticulously arranged and sprinted headlong at the Naruto, making him stagger back slightly as he gathered the blond into his arms, tears falling freely from his eyes. 

Naruto joined him, openly weeping as he returned the embrace as he gripped Sasuke's black blazer, as though if he let go the raven would disappear.

"Sasuke." with each time he said his companions name, more and more returned to him, as though the floodgates were being pulled open inside his soul.

* * *

 

 _How they had lived so close together that they had practically lived at each others houses, and how their parents had been best friends._  

_How they had discovered how deep their feelings for one another had run, how it had developed from infatuation and affection to complete understanding and acceptance._

* * *

 

"Naruto." hearing Sasuke's voice was like being able to breathe again from being underwater for too long. It soothed the ever present tightness in Naruto's chest.

* * *

 

_How they had spent their younger days carefree and completely devoted to one another, and they families had helped them keep it hidden_

_How they had become completely inseparable when they had lost their parents, who coming from a group dinner had been killed in a car accident._

* * *

 

"Naruto."  the blond had never felt so at home as he did in his beloved's arms. He gripped even tighter, wishing somehow he could just disappear into Sasuke's heart, and never be separated from him agai _n._

"Naruto." he almost moaned, the name leaving his lips like a prayer.

* * *

 

_How they had grown careless and been torn away from each other when the school and the authorities had found out._

* * *

 

They broke apart for a moment, eyes meeting before they crashed together again, lips finding each other  almost desperately.

What had started as a chaste kiss became passionate as they drank one another in, as if to reassure themselves that the other was really there, that this was reality, and not another day dream or broken memory.

"Iruka told me I would find you here. He and Itachi are waiting by the cars, and we don’t have a lot of time," he spoke in low, frenzied tones after they had split apart, panting slightly but neither party willing to let go. 

"what happened to you, Naruto? All I know is that I couldn’t find you, and no one would tell me where you were. Itachi and I dropped out of school and we went searching, and when news of you reached us, we rushed back." he smoothed the back of Naruto's hair lovingly.

 "The authorities wouldn’t let me see you, though, they told me that the state had filed a restraining order against me on your behalf while you were in the hospital and that I should just g, and for a while it worked. But then Itachi got a hold of Iruka and they set up this meeting. Tell me, Naruto, what did they do to you? " 

Naruto sniffled, fighting back his tears so he could speak properly." They tried to use the shocks and drugs to remove you from me, but what they didn’t know was that they could remove you from my mind, but my heart would always remember because it was with you the whole time." he smiled through his still free-flowing tears.

 "I guess I have to thank mom and dad, I was just asking them to help me figure out why the hole in my memories was shaped like a person, and then they brought you back to me." Sasuke squeezed him affectionately.

 "thank god, I thought you just didn’t want to see me after what happened at the school when they found out. I thought you hated me or something." his eyes avoided Naruto's as his tone became hesitant, but the blond removed his death grip of Sasukes shirt to cradle his cheeks, gently but firmly forcing Sasuke to look him in the eyes.

"Sasuke, you are the most important person to me now, to me ever. Whatever drugs they had me on or whatever those shocks did made me so numb, that I don’t even remember anyone visiting me when  was in the hospital, I just remember a haze, and pain, so much pain. " he places a reassuring kiss onto his beloveds lips.

"I don’t want to be apart from you anymore." this cleared the worry from Sasuke's crimson eyes, as he leaned down to deliver one more chaste kiss.

 "I keep my promises, Naruto, if you remember them. I promised you that I wasn’t going anywhere."

 "I remember..like it was just yesterday." Naruto breathed.

 "I love you, Sasuke." He whispered before he could stop himself, his own cerulean boring into Sasuke and conveying complete truth.

 "and I love you, Naruto." he knew from the way Sasuke was fixated captivatedly at him that the sentiment was returned.

 There they stayed, two pieces of a puzzle complete once more, reunited in front of their parents final resting place.

 If only for a little while.

* * *

 


	8. epilogue

* * *

Under the cover of darkness the two boys had escaped, bidding farewell to their friends and family as they left to search for a place where they could be together and not have to worry about being torn apart. Sasuke's car was laden with only the essentials - clothes, books and other necessities to begin their new life.

Naruto tearfully squeezed Iruka, whispering his thanks and promising to stay in touch and visit when they could, and he got into the passengers seat, shooting a nervous glance at his beloved.

"ready to go, Naruto?"

"with you? Always."

Their fingers intertwined over the console as Sasuke stepped on the gas. 

* * *

 Naruto was damaged goods. There were still gaps in his memories and things that hurt him to think about, but so long as his fingers were still entwined with Sasuke's, he knew he would be alright.

* * *

  _It was forever then._

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed, leave me a comment and let me know what you think but please be gentle!~


End file.
